Friday, June 18, 2010


One disadvantage to not being overweight is that when I come home to NC, my tummy isn't exactly desirable real estate for cat naps. However, after a stressful day of running from the tiny people (my nieces) who have invaded my mom's house for the weekend and hissing violently at the stray Schnauzer who crashed with us for a couple of hours this afternoon, Gigi managed to find a comfy spot on my legs as I fell asleep on the recliner. I guess she needed some TLC. I know I did.

This week has been a little rough. Every day has brought a constant, unexpected reminder that Sunday is Father's Day. Like, say, when I open my e-mail, and Amazon is all, GET YOUR DAD A KINDLE. My family attended a Bar Association memorial service for my father at the courthouse this afternoon. It was lovely, but I was crying before it even started. Better than bursting into tears on the street, which has happened almost every day this week. (Shivani, I envy your crying during meditation at these times . . . why can't I bawl when it's convenient?) I always get it under control, but one of these days, I should probably just let myself lose it completely.

Suffice it to say, I've been eating a lot of granola.
And unlawful carbs (usually at night.)
And too much fruit (maybe, I don't always measure.)

I don't consider any of these breaches to be KFB fails, however, because if the worst thing I do is eat too much granola, I'm on the right path. I realized this week that I'm not counting the KFB days. I don't feel like I'm missing anything. I have no desire whatsoever to eat processed anything (I can make it myself!), big fancy meals, or refined sugar goodies. Not even cake. Not even homemade. Not even at my unbirthday celebration tomorrow. My brain and my body finally see eye-to-eye. These foods will not serve me (even on an emotional level, though clearly granola has stepped up to the plate on that one . . . baby steps.) Of course, I still need lots of practice, but KFB feels like regular life to me. Definite win.


  1. We'll be thinking of you! Not counting days is when you know you've arrived!

  2. Emily the mind-body stuff here is very inspirational!! I'm hoping to get to where you are with this stuff. And, I say just lose it on the street. Years ago I lost a dear friend to suicide and I had lots of public starting-to-cry moments. Finally I broke down on a busy street and just sat on the curb sobbing, occasionally shouting "I'm fine! I'm just emotional!". I'm sure I looked like a crazy person, but I just needed to let it loose and that was the time to do it i guess. I felt relieved.

  3. Thanks, Elena! Losing it in public may be the only path to true catharsis in these situations...

  4. I'm thinking about you today. And missing you hella!

    Your blog will sustain me in your absence!

  5. Emily, I hope you had a warm weekend with your family.
    You'll come out powerful from all this pain because you are a champion!